by Michelle Watson
Recently I went to one of the most amazing weddings I’ve ever attended. Haley and Caleb are two who have done it right and the feeling of joy on their day was literally palpable.
Before the wedding started I was catching up with my friend Dan, a guy I haven’t seen much since serving together on a youth staff in our early 20’s. If you were a fly on our shoulders, here’s what you would have heard:
Me: I LOVE my life! As a single woman I have so much freedom in this season as God keeps opening so many incredible doors!
Dan: Well, it sounds like God has given you the gift of singleness.
Me: I’m not so sure that’s it.
Dan: Yes, it definitely sounds like God has given you the gift.
With that, the wedding started. And without even realizing that Dan’s comments had been rolling around in my head during the ceremony, as soon as the couple exited the church I realized that something wasn’t sitting right. I turned to my friend and continued.
Me: I don’t actually know what the gift of singleness is but I know that I don’t have it. I’m open to marriage if God brings a guy along. But I can tell you what this is about: I don’t fight the Father anymore.
Dan: Maybe you don’t have it then.
A couple of weeks later I was at a conference and told my friend Paul this story, prompting him to say something from the platform: “If you’re single today then for today God has given you the gift of singleness.” Without hesitating, this prompted one woman to shout out, “But what if you don’t want the gift?”
I can relate. I’m 54 and have never been married. I used to think something was wrong with me because a guy hadn’t chosen me or deemed me worthy of taking his name. But I’m so over that now.
I finally decided to get on with living my life whether I had a husband or not. I finally decided not to fight my Abba Father anymore. I finally decided to accept where he has me rather than constantly demanding he do life on my terms.
I guess you could say that for me the gift of singleness is exactly that: a gift. I’m constantly in relationship with a Father who allows me to participate in what he’s doing, and for me that has nothing to do with my martial status. And that is the best gift ever!
Michelle Watson is a passionate God-follower whose mess has been turned into her message. As founder of The Abba Project she helps dads decode their daughters. Her recently released book is Dad, Here’s What I Really Need From You: A Guide for Connecting with Your Daughter’s Heart (Harvest House, 2014). Connect at drmichellewatson.com.
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