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Self-Esteem Is Ruining Your Kids

Issues Kids Deal With / Parenting //

As a child of the 70′s I grew up 80′s where baby boomers were loving life, loving love and loving themselves. This translated to every area of life including their parenting. The seeds of self-esteem were laid by my parents generation and have taken full root in my generation. It’s this idea that kids need to have a positive outlook in life, they need to love themselves. While in limited ways this can be true the pervasiveness of this idea is killing the collective conscience of our country and is ruining our kids.My parents were not primary concerned with my self-esteem for that I am thankful. I remember my mom saying something to me when I was younger that always stuck with me. She said that her and my father were not concerned with how our peers felt about us they would always watch how adults interacted with us and would listen for the assessments adults had of us. Why? Because my parents were more concerned with our self-awareness than our self-esteem. How kids interact with adults is a great (not perfect) indicator of how self-aware your kids are. So many parents today are concerned with their kids having friends, their kids having the right kids of friends, their kids not getting their feelings hurt by their friends because they want their kids to have good self-esteem, because they love their kids. They are doing their kids a disservice. Parents today take their kids side over the word of another adult because they don’t want to crush their kids. In doing this they are eroding the very things that will make kids successful in life. I am all for good self-esteem and smarts in school but what makes you successful in life is self-awareness. And here is the truth that parents so often totally miss that when you raise a kid who is self-aware you get self-esteem thrown in, but if you try to raise a kid who simply has good self-esteem you get neither.

3 Reasons why self-awareness should matter to you as a parent.

1. Self awareness produces confidence in your kids  and confidence produces self-esteem.

2. Self awareness makes your kids  other focused because you are confident and understand their strengths and limitations it allows them to flourish and not have to pretend, lie, cheat or steal to be something they wish they were and not who they really are.

3. Self-awareness allows your kids to see themselves as the desperate sinners they are. When you are aware of who you are in Christ you have a desperate confidence. You understand that you are a desperate sinner but have a confidence in a sinless savior. Kids who have learned to nurture their self-esteem run from the cross those who are self-aware run to it.

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About the Author

My name is Sam Luce and I have been the children’s pastor at Redeemer Church in Utica NY for the past 14 years. Currently I am serving as the Utica Campus Pastor and the Global family pastor. This is my personal blog it is focused on leadership, children’s ministry and creativity. I write about things I am passionate about, the power of the gospel, becoming a better leader, ministering to kids, technology, humorous anything, and being the best dad and husband I can be.