CraigJutila-skillfllHandArticle

How To Lead With A True Heart & Skillful Hand

Family / Leadership / Parenting //

He cared for them with a true heart and led them with skillful hands.” Psalm 78:72

This reference to how David was to lead Israel as he had led his father’s flock of sheep paints a wonderful picture for me as a parent and as a leader.

It’s a reminder for each of us to pay attention to our heart. To have a soft, true and gentle heart, not a heart of aggravation, frustration or exasperation. We are also reminded to lead with skill which includes wisdom and understanding.

The words, “led them with skillful hands,” causes me to think about two different and unique pictures in my mind when it comes to parenting my kids and, for that matter, how I lead teams.

The first picture is one of frustration. There is a battle of the wills taking place between my son and I. Imagine a scene in which I have asked my then 4 year old son Alec several times to put down the toy he is holding and come to me. He does not move; he does not budge. I am now engaged in a staring match with my son. It went something like this.

“Alec, please put that toy down and come here.”
“No.”
“Alec, this is the last time I am going to tell you to put down that toy and come here.”
“No, no, no. Mine!”

So I move toward him angry and aggravated while he begins the loud audio portion of the encounter and I pry the toy from his hand, place it on the ground,grab him by the wrist and move him to where I want him to be.

The second picture is one of patience. This, too, involves a battle of the wills. I have asked my then 4 year old son Alec several times to put down the toy he is holding and come to me. He does not move; he does not budge. I am now engaged in a staring match with my son. It went something like this.

“Alec, please put that toy down and come here.”
“No.”
“Alec, this is the last time I am going to tell you to put down that toy and come here.”
“No, no, no. Mine!”

So I move toward him mindful of my emotions while he begins the loud audio portion of the encounter and I pry the toy from his hand, place it on the ground,take him by the hand and lead him to where I want him to be.

If you read closely you will notice there is only one difference between how I could lead my son. By the wrist or by the hand.

1. Grab him by the wrist and move him to where I want him to be.
2. Take him by the hand and lead him to where I want him to be.

One picture is usually reactionary while the other tends to be revolutionary. Are we leading by the wrist or by the hand? This simple story could apply to just about everyone in our lives. Our kids, our spouse, our friends, our team or the person sitting next to us at Starbucks.

When it comes to our relationships we all should ask the question: “Am I a wrist grabber or hand holder?

Question:
If you asked your children, “Am I a wrist grabber or hand holder” what would they say?
How about your spouse? Your team? The person sitting next to you at Starbucks?

Photo Credit: shutterstock.com Image ID: 108963731 © vita khorzhevska

 

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About the Author

Craig is a passionate and nationally known communicator, author, and blogger. He is the president of Empowered Living with a mission to “Empower leaders and their families for life!” His passion is to encourage, equip and empower others to enjoy their journey through life. In his most recent book, “Faith and The Modern Family,” Craig’s humorous stories and relevant application encourages parents to make a difference in their modern family. You can follow Craig on Twitter: @craigjutila, and on Facebook: facebook.com/craigjutila