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5 Ways People Will Know You Are A Fake

Leadership / Leadership //

Nobody likes a faker.  We have all heard the mantra “fake it til you make it”.  I think that statement is a lie.  When I first got into ministry I didn’t have a clue what I was doing.  I remember sitting at my desk on my first day as a pastor thinking “ok, what do I do now?”  I have been on staff at 3 churches since that first day and at the beginning of my time there it would always start the same way…with a prayer.

“God, I have no clue what I am doing or how I got into this position, the only thing I do know is that I will fail horribly if you aren’t there to lead and guide me so please help me glorify you in this role.”

Our culture today is full of fakers.  It’s so full of people who are faking it that it takes us back a few steps when we bump into someone who is actually genuine.  Over the years I have met a lot of people.  It can really be heartbreaking how many people are out there trying to be something they aren’t.  I want to encourage you to be genuine in your ministry, show people who you really are.  I’m not saying not to strive to grow and become better though.  What I am saying is be a real person!  People connect with you better when they know you are just like them.  Here are 5 ways people will know you are a fake.

  1. You hide all your personal struggles from the general public:  People want to know that you struggle and need a savior just like them.
  2. Don’t be a “Know It All”:  Everyone knows that you don’t know everything.  Stop trying to convince them that you do.
  3. Be comfortable with saying “I don’t know”:  I have found that many people don’t necessarily want you to give them a solution.  What people actually want from you is insight so they can find a solution.  It is impossible for us to know everything, but we are connected to a source that has the answers.  Be OK with not knowing the answers to everything.
  4. Ask for peoples input on important things:  People feel like you care when you ask for input on important decisions.  They really feel important when you genuinely listen to their thoughts.
  5. Share REAL life stories from your home with people:  I am not saying to air all of your dirty laundry with the entire population.  The people you serve closely with though will benefit from knowing what your life is like.  It will also put less stress on your family that may feel like they have to put a church face on at times.

Bottom line, people respect authenticity.  Be real.  Be transparent.  It will go a long way!

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About the Author

Joe McAlpine is the Pastor of Share at Northbrook Church. Northbrook is a growing church just outside of Milwaukee WI. He has been in ministry for over a decade, serving in staff leadership at churches ranging in attendance from 500 to 7,000. Prior to his current ministry, Joe had the privilege of leading the children’s ministry at Northview Church, the 5th fastest growing and 85th largest church in America in 2013. In 2009 he created www.joemcalpine.com, a website dedicated to helping leaders in next generation ministry grow spiritually, relationally and organizationally. Joe has a passion to help young leaders of next generation, family based ministries grow into seasoned ministry professionals oftomorrow. Joe lives out his passion for next generation leaders by tapping into his experience as a husband of one, father of four, pastor and life long lover of of learning. Joe has been happily married to his wife Christy for longer than he can remember and has four children, Elijah, Selah, David, and Elisabeth. The McAlpines are originally from the Chicago area. In his spare time you can find him hanging with the family and connecting with as many kidmin people as he can!