regret

5 Reasons Why We Have A Bad Attitude And What To Do About It

Leadership / Personal Development //

Someone once said that, “Having a bad attitude is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing things wrongly, and applying unsuitable remedies.” Have you ever felt like that…while looking in the mirror? Me too. With that in mind I wanted to look at the top five reasons why we choose to have a bad attitude and what to do about it.

Reason Number 1: Unhealthy Comparisons

“Comparison is the root of most inferiority.” It’s true. When we compare ourselves or our work to others we can feel great or terrible. On a number of occasions I have told myself, “Craig, that wasn’t good enough. Look how much better John gave that talk, he’s a great communicator.” Look how awesome Martin reveals that truth to others…if you could be a little more like him…” My inner dialogue comparing myself to others effects my attitude in negative ways.

What To Do About It
Remember Your Value.
“You know that in the past you were living in a worthless way. You got that way of living from the people who lived before you. But you were saved from that useless life. You were bought, but not with something that ruins like gold or silver. You were bought with the precious blood of the death of Christ, who was like a pure and perfect lamb.” 1 Peter 1:18-19 ICB

Reason Number 2: Unending Hurriedness

We live in a culture that says, “If we don’t get our food in under a minute we have the right to get angry.” After all, it’s called “fast food” for a reason. We have evolved in our thinking and believe If we don’t get what we want when we want it we have the right to a bad attitude. When we live in the future instead of in the moment we get frustrated and when we get frustrated our attitude begins to slip.

What To Do About It
Slow down. Pause.
“It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.” Psalm 127:2 NLT

Reason Number 3: Unrealistic Expectations

You expected the house to be clean and it isn’t.
You expected a promotion and you didn’t.
You expected to go and you couldn’t.
You expected a raise and they wouldn’t.
You expected the light to be green and it wasn’t.

What To Do About It
Lower Your Expectations.
How much better would your attitude be if, on your next drive around town, you expected every light be red? What would happen when you pulled up to the intersection? You would think to yourself, “well, it’s red, just as I expected.” No need for a bad attitude, right? As a bonus, when you came to a light that was green you would be ecstatic! “Wow! I expected the light to be red and it was green! It must be my lucky day!”

Reason Number 4: Unresolved Conflict

When conflict goes unresolved, our attitudes head down hill, don’t they? We begin to hyper focus on the conflict and that can cause an attitude spiral in the wrong direction. We go to bed thinking about it and we wake up thinking about it. To put it bluntly we are in a perpetual “funk” that we can’t seem to shake.

What To Do About It
Live In Peace. Ask for Forgiveness. Move on.
I think Paul understood something about conflict and conflict resolution and how it effects our thoughts and attitudes. He reminds us, “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18 NLT Once you have done all you can, it’s time to move on.

Reason Number 5: Upsetting Circumstances

We can’t control our circumstances, they just happen. Someone treats you in a rude manner. You get an unwarranted negative phone call or email. You get a flat tire or run out of gas on your way to an important meeting or event. Or, you are trying to write a blog in Starbucks while the guy next to you has a phone conversation at peak level oblivious to you or anyone else around them. Life happens, how we respond to it reveals our attitude.

What To Do About It
Choose joy.
Trouble is coming. it’s a guarantee, it’s certain, it’s without question. We certainly don’t want to live in fear of it but knowing it’s coming and more importantly why it’s coming will help to navigate the upsetting circumstance in a healthy way.  Paul suggests that, “when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.” James 1:2 NLT

Which one of the 5 reasons are you struggling with today? What will you do about it? Please leave a comment or your thoughts. I would love to hear them.

 

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About the Author

Craig is a passionate and nationally known communicator, author, and blogger. He is the president of Empowered Living with a mission to “Empower leaders and their families for life!” His passion is to encourage, equip and empower others to enjoy their journey through life. In his most recent book, “Faith and The Modern Family,” Craig’s humorous stories and relevant application encourages parents to make a difference in their modern family. You can follow Craig on Twitter: @craigjutila, and on Facebook: facebook.com/craigjutila